Why Date?

Dating has almost become human beings’ next nature. Children under age 7 are talking about boyfriend/girlfriend. One might be provoked to ask, is dating a requirement for human existence? It has become a social expectation to the extent that some people who have difficulty finding love hurt themselves or get depressed as a result.

Why then do people date?

Interesting question that ought to be ruminated upon by everyone who intends to date or who are currently in relationships. It won’t be surprising to find that some don’t know why they date or desire to date.
A few reasons people give- “Sex,” “Everyone is dating,” “it’s time to date,” “I am always bored and lonely,” and peer pressure.

Many people date for reasons unknown to them, thereby forcing themselves to be with an incompatible partner.

Five reasons why you should date.

– Date because you want to love and be loved in return

– Date because you are mature enough to handle a relationship

-Date because you want to share your time with someone you can trust

– Date to learn how to tolerate other people

-Date to improve your social life

Related posts: Eight Reasons to date http://www.cbn.com/family/datingsingles/smalley_date.aspx

You Need Marriage Counseling if…………….

You need counseling If………..

– You are dating and  considering getting married to your current partner

-You find yourself considering getting external help to improve your relationship

-You find it difficult to communicate effectively with your partner

– You feel like you and your partner are not on the same page and you don’t know why

– You and your partner love each other but struggle to make each other happy

– Your marriage has experienced a lot of changes you can’t adjust to.

– You are roommates rather than lovers

– You are contemplating separation and/or divorce.

_ You want to improve your relationship and are not sure how to make it happen

Don’t be afraid or shy to seek help, you are only finding ways to have more fulfilling relationship with your partner. Counseling can help you figure out if you really want to be with that person or not. So, take the chance, it just might be all you need to get conviction about the person you are with.

Related posts: http://www.markmerrill.com/4-ways-to-know-when-its-time-for-marriage-counseling/

 

100th Article- Is marriage counseling a good idea?

If marriages came with manuals, the rate of divorce will significantly be lower than it presently is. Just like it is with cars, when you get them, you must have some knowledge or insight into driving before you can operate the vehicle. Substantial training and practice is required to be considered a competent driver.  Unfortunately, many incompetent drivers get into the marriage vehicle and expect to turn on the ignition and start driving the car with the risk of crashing.

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Why is marriage counseling necessary? Before this question can be answered, ask yourself,  is it possible to drive a car forever without servicing it at some point in time? The answer is no because a car needs regular servicing by experts who are knowledgeable about the buildup of the car. Couples make the mistake of fixing their complex problems themselves and many wait for a long period of time before seeking help. Some little problems can be easily resolved but certain issues are beyond the couple’s scope of knowledge which needs a form of intervention to help them make the marriage work better. Marriage counseling provides guidance on how to make a relationship healthy.

 Why are people not willing to seek counseling?There are several reasons why people are hesitant about seeking counseling. First is the stigma associated with it  as a result of people’s unrealistic assumption that every perfect relationship doesn’t need counseling. Second reason is the failure to admit that a troubled relationship needs intervention. Third, relying on short fix and overlooking the main issue to be addressed. Fourth is the fear of being judged by people for not being able manage a relationship adequately.

The  truth about counseling– It is unfortunate that people only view counseling as a way to solve problems  without  considering it as a way of seeking guidance. Counseling should be viewed as a preventive measure rather than a treatment measure. If thorough counseling is sought beforehand, the necessary tools learned from counseling to prevent or deal with problems will be adequately applied. However, seeking counseling when couples are already sick and tired of their relationships is not always successful but will make a difference. It helps to identify problems and provides tips on how to address them systematically.

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Is marriage counseling a good idea?– Marriage counseling is necessary for every couple who aspires to get married and married couples at some point difficult point in their marriage. It helps to improve relationship or marriage. Marriage counseling doesn’t only have to be sought through professional sources, it could be spiritual marriage counseling or informal counseling from well-experienced couples who can provide proper guidance. Marriage counseling just might bring the best out of your relationship.

Please look out for the next post on When Marriage counseling is needed.

Related Post: http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/marriage-counseling/MH00104.html

Differences don’t break relationships.

If human beings were all the same, life will be boring. The beauty of relationships lie in the differences in personalities. People get to learn about other things they are not used to or previously aware of. Differences help to broaden your view of life and people. As much as it makes life and love interesting, it has been a major cause of conflicts and break in relationships. For examples, marriages are legally justified to divorce due to irreconcilable differences. This makes differences in personality sound so horrible that people make up there minds to date or marry people of similar personalities. Everyone should know that, irrespective of the similarities two people share whether in the way they act, talk, walk or interact, there will always be differences. Twins born milliseconds apart do have there differences, why then would people from different families be the same?
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Therefore, the problems in relationships and marriages are not the differences in personalities, the major issue lies in the ability to tolerate the differences. The longevity and sustainability of a relationships depends on how the people involved are able to communicate effectively and settle their differences amicably. Family members disagree as a result of difference in opinion and personality, but they mostly accept themselves as family regardless. So, if you’re struggling in your relationship as a result of differences between you and your partner, the key to making it work is to find ways of settling your differences and how to work on tolerating each other. Tolerance has helped several marriages to stand the test of time.
Relationships don’t break as a result of differences between partners, rather, it is due to their inability to accept each other’s differences.

Related Posts:Relationship Problems:Overcoming your differences. http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/overcome-your-differences
-Opposites attract but can they last? http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/355
-Personality and Relationship. https://www.personalitypage.com/html/relationships.html

Arrows to my Heart

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Like arrows to my heart
Your words cut so deep
Piercing through my veins
With daunting pains
I ponder on the love we share
And wonder if you truly care
My heart bleeds in regret for trusting you
Now I realize our love is untrue.
Away from me, farewell I bid
I hope to find the love that’s real
which seeks out my pain to heal
Never to hurt and pierce me again
But gives my heart strength to retain.

Ladies are like, “All men are bad.”

When a lady has had several bad experiences with men, there is tendency to find it difficult to accommodate the thought of any good man still existing on earth. Many women believe that good men are hard to come across, while this is true, it does not mean such men don’t exist.

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When a rigid conclusion has been made about all men being bad, it becomes difficult to recognize a good one when he comes along. It is important to be conscious about whoever a person dates especially if there has been a past horrible experience with men, however, it is not healthy to generalize.
Women who believe all men are bad set themselves up for failed relationships because they will either chase the man away or become mentally stressed as a result of their insecurities.

Ladies, do yourself a favor!!! Get rid of the negativity and bitterness you have towards men before thinking of getting into a relationship. Unless the mentality of all men being bad changes, it become almost impossible to see anything good in any man. Such women remain bitter and angry towards men and will always have challenges appreciating a good man when he comes along. Also, the thought of all men being bad can limit the possibilities of ever getting a good man.

Why you shouldn’t compare your partner

It’s almost natural to make comparisons because it helps to determine the quality of anything. However, comparisons are sometimes made with false information and mostly based on wrong assumptions. Here are a few reasons why a person shouldn’t compare partners

1. People are different – There is beauty in the uniqueness of Every individual. No one should desire or settle for a generic partner.

2. It underestimates your partner– When a person compare partners negatively, there is tendency to ignore the good qualities a partner possesses. Getting fixated on another person’s single display of affection can make a person underestimate his or her partner’s ability to show affection.

3. The other person is not what you think – Most people’s obvious behaviors might be make-believe acts which people are foolishly misled by. Things aren’t really as rosy as they seem, for example, a couple who display their affection publicly may be enemies living together but no one can see beyond the obvious.

4. It pushes you to make unrealistic demands– When you compare partners, there is tendency to put pressure on a beloved to be who they are not.

5. It can potentially ruin your relationship– It affects both parties’ happiness which can be attributed to frustration.