Love never dies…We give up on it.

Love doesn’t just happen, we subject ourself to it.

It takes over us and we claim we have fallen in love.

Look around, there is love everywhere

But, we choose how we channel our love,

And to whom we  display that love.

We fall in love and let it run its course

But when we get tired of being in love, we fall out of it.

Then, we claim there is no connection anymore or we are no longer in love.

This means, the love is still there but we can’t continue with it for reasons known to us.

Which proves that, Love never dies but we only give up on Love.

Friends with the Ex.

            An Ex is someone you’ve been emotionally, physically, and entirely connected to in the past. When ending a  relationship, you might feel like or be advised to break up without resentment and get comfortable with being friends. While this works for some people, it doesn’t for many because of the circumstances leading to breakup, level of attachment you’ve had with your ex and as a result of experiences with the person.   If you want to be friends with your ex, you must define what it means to be friends.

Ask yourself several questions such as;

 Have I gotten over my Ex? If your answer is a No, then it will be difficult to be friends because it will only be way to continue to hold on to the person. If your answer is yes, you should know why you want to stay friends which leads us to next question.

What does being friends mean ?  Does it mean you want to be able to see eachother and exchange greetings or does it mean you want to be able to grab a drink once in a while to catch up on each other’s life progress? What you do with your ex is up to you.You don’t have to be enemies, but you can be friends from a distance with minimal close interactions

What are my boundaries? When you set these boundaries, don’t deviate from them. Remember, you can only trust yourself, because the other person’s intentions are not known to you. Would you trust being alone with your ex for a long time without slipping into old habits?

Is this friendship going to affect my other relationships? Since you are friends with your ex,  how will you get your new partner to be comfortable with having your ex being part of your life?

Will I be comfortable with my boyfriend or girlfriend being friends with their Ex? Your answer to this question will determine whether its ok  to be friends with your ex or not. If you don’t care, then you probably don’t really care about your current relationship.

You decide how you want to live your life, who you want to be friends with and how you want to relate with others but always be realistic in decision making. Please Share your thoughts on whether it is ok to be friends with an ex, and explain your thoughts.

Making a fool of yourself saying, “Someone stole my lover”

Human beings enjoy satisfying themselves by failing to accept the truth. In order words, we prefer gratifying our anxieties and fears with obvious lies.  Rather than addressing the main culprit, you blame things on the third party who only had a chance through the loop hole you or your lover created. An able and very much alive person cannot be stolen except they were forced with a gun or other life threaning equipments, also maybe unless they were hypnotised.

Be honest, in cases where you might want to claim your lover was hynotised which rarely occurs, he or she must have been at the wrong place at the wrong time in an inadequate frame of mind. We  create the avenue to fall preys to temptation. Ignorance will make a person say their lover was stolen. It might be hard to accept and digest but , the truth in reality is that, your partner made a conscious decision to be with someone else. Don’t make a fool of  yourself by telling other people your partner was stolen from you. It doesn’t make you look good, especially when you set out to fight the third party which will still not get your partner back to you.

My special Val


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Everyday I get to have you as mine is a Valentine’s day

This day  02/14 is a bonus to show how priceless you are to me

The gift I give is in no way a measure of my inestimable love for you

This day does not help me to realize how I feel about you, It reminds me of how lucky I am to have you

I join what they call the love madness on this special  day to confess that I am madly in love you

I hope I bring  joy into your life as much as you are a joy to me

This day will pass but my love for you continues to grow

I love you for many reasons and I’m elated to celebrate this special cupid day with my special Val

My Nakedness

My childhood years were filled with cinderella fantasies, desiring a prince charming to come in and sweep me off my feet, then we will live happily ever after. As I grew up to my teenage years, I experienced the real world and realized that these two characters only live in a fairy tale land. My first boyfriend was trying to discover himself  and what the opposite sex had to offer as I was also trying to explore my identity and the world of love. We fell in love and I felt so much like cinderella, well I am not sure if cinderella ever had sex with prince charming but it was part of my love story. Everyday I had more reasons to love my boyfriend, we both had sex for the first time and we were so sure we would marry eachother in the future (yeah right,maybe in our dreams).  Our relationship’s time lapsed and we were torn apart after two years, he was done with me and he went on to the next one. I thought I had discovered myself by being with this guy, I thought he was going to be the only man  to see my nakedness, I thought we were going to live happily ever after.  My resolution, “a hint of reality, a tap in the butt to buckle up.”  Everyone told me I’ll be fine, life goes on, just live your life.

I met another guy who turned my world into a carousel. What’ was not to love about him? He came into my life with a purpose, to love and care for me (atleast, it seemed that way at that time). I fell carelessly again as the whole of my being and my body was his toy.  The excitement and infatuation  faded away after some time and I was back at  point zero. At that point, I was absolutely done dating, I have loved with my heart, body and soul, it still didn’t earn me much.

My sister  Rosie had fallen in love with a guy named Jake whom she met in school, he stood by her and was always willing to profess his love for her to the whole world. I was so happy for my dear sis, it was her time to shine, and be loved. I was the wedding planner, maid of honor and the brides’ special sister on her wedding day. Considering how close Rosie and I were before she got married, it was difficult to break us apart so, I would spend most weekends at their house.

One of those weekends, Rosie had an emergency assignment to complete at work on Saturday morning and I had to help prepare breakfast.  I served Jake his food and we talked over breakfast. He acknowledged my culinary skills as he emptied food in his plate into his stomach. After breakfast, I went to take a shower and on the way back to my room, my towel accidentally  dropped, as I quickly bent down to pick it up, Jake came out of his room. Awkardness, shame, shock, confusion filled the air all at the same time. He reached out  to help cover me up but his hands strayed to grab me by the waist. He drew me close to his chest and pressed tight against my body  while I struggled to break free. I yelled out his name to let go of me but Jake was no where to be found at that moment. He carried me into the room, slammed me on the bed  and made his way into me. This time, I was more broken than ever, my sister’s husband raped me, I have gone out of my own body, how will I ever get connected to myself again? Yet another man, this time, more controversial than ever defiled me, disrespected my body, and beheld my nakedness. 

The truth about you

No one knows you better than the person living on the inside of you. The man or woman you married will only know just as much as you’ve revealed to them about yourself and they can’t find out more unless you disclose it. This is why it’s easy to lie to people, because no one knows the truth like the actual witness. Go on, feel good about yourself while  you deceive others and give a false impression about yourself. The voice on the inside (your conscience) wouldn’t fail to remind you of the truth about yourself.

When you feel lost and confused, the answer you need is discovered by  assessing your personality and values. Regardless of other people’s perception of you, many times than often, you remind yourself of who you really are. No one can change you, your views, and your personality unless you give up on being you. The truth about you is best known to you, and no one else can know you 100%.

An extra lover, just in case……

Commitment issues remain a single most common factor negatively affecting relationships. When lovers feel insecure or uncertain about their current relationships they tend to complement what’s lacking by getting an extra lover. Many will claim “I need to keep more than one lover just in case……” Just in case what? There are many reasons why people resort to this option, either as a result of being dumped from a previous relationship or simply greed and lack of satisfaction.

Trying to secure your feelings, emotions by double dealing is one of the craziest things you can do to yourself. First, because you will barely tell the truth to each of your lovers. Second, your mind is almost never at peace. Third, you can’t be yourself at the same time in different circumstances. Fourth, you gradually lose your sanity and there are many more reasons you can add. Even the so-called players know they have to work hard to stay on top of their games because any mistake means they are in trouble. Having to be with more than one person only shows that you have problems with  attachment, detachment,  commitment, and most importantly you have some personality issues to resolve. Life is unfair and sometimes we do get disappointed and betrayed by the people we love, but, what makes life more worthwhile is the ability to stay true to ourselves, maintain our integrity and dignity in order to get with the right people.

Double dealing  will not always give you the best result you want, sometimes you will lose in both ways and end up in the same situation you’ve been avoiding- being alone. It doesn’t matter what excuse you give, what you call it, and how you view it. Once you are committed to a person, dating another person at the same time only implies that you are cheating on either or both partners.

Is it ok to date more than one person, under what circumstance and for what reasons will it be acceptable?

Related Post: CHEATING -https://inkatheart.wordpress.com/2012/10/29/cheating/